"When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement." "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” "Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things." Rest in Love, Mary Oliver.
#maryoliver
"Try something different. Surrender"- Rumi
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of 'surrender' lately. A large part of me hates the idea because a part of me really wants to have more control over life and the world around me. This month, many of us are caught up in restoring order to our homes a la Marie Kondo, putting tiny bits of control back into our own spaces. I also had a long chat with a friend who is undertaking a Dave Ramsey learning course to get their financial life on track and gain a sense of control over it. All of these things are good aren't they? And most of them feel like the opposite of the word 'surrender'. And yet, there is such a thing as too much control. Do I control carefully the elements in my home to the extent I deny my children their messy fun? Do I control my finances to the point of forgetting how to be generous and trusting? No, I must surrender to certain things. I must be able to say 'Let them make a bit of mess, they are only children' and really MEAN it by getting the paint in my hair too, or be willing to gift something I'd rather save to someone who is in dire need of it, trusting that I too will not be abandoned in my own hour of need. Every time I send off a submission or an application for an opportunity, I must be willing to surrender myself first to the process of making a whole-hearted application and secondly, to the idea that the outcome is then out of my hands. In the process of surrender, we gain not only control but freedom. Freedom to be generous and peaceful and joyful. There can be SO much beauty in surrender. It allows me to say 'What I HAVE and what I have DONE today, it's enough'. So I am learning to surrender to this little voice deep inside that is saying that it's time to change pace and wait. .
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#mariekondo #daveramsey #surrender #rumi #illustration #ocean #whales
This year, I am going travelling. I may or may not get to actually leave my small village much and most days there is a list of chores and needs of others in my life as long as my arm. The winters are long and dark here, the sky has been the same shade of grey for weeks. So, I'm going traveling. In my mind and with my paintbrush in the little bit of the day that is my own, I'll grow wings and take to the beautiful skies, travel above the clouds, dive into the mysterious depths of the ocean, sit on mountain tops, laze around in meadows, greet every tree and animal by name, defy time and perspective, converse with nature and explore all that there is to see and more. Goodbye grey, hello world of colour and possibility. I am going travelling- will you come with me?
I knew this day was coming but I wasn't prepared for how emotional it would be to have to show my six year old what we are doing to our oceans with plastic pollution, after her questions became far too numerous to downplay. She knows. She knows it's not meant to be this way, that we are making our earth and ourselves sick. I wish i knew why we did it. I wish I could keep it from her. Why are we so unable to learn to stop things that hurt ourselves, whether personal or universal? I am no more able some days to stop hitting my own self-destruct button that I am able to dredge the oceans for the garbage it is choking on. I dread all the days ahead that I will have to gradually reveal the truth of things to her about the world she is inheriting, and I pray so hard that I can find ways to build her resilience to heal the world where we could not. And yet. And yet, it could still be so beautiful, I really believe that. (An illustration from way early in my artistic journey that felt relevant today).
